26 April 2007

Frustrated

Yeah, so this week has been frustrating, which is lame because it started out really well.

Creatively I feel kind of stymied and unappreciated, though that's mostly subjective, I think, and not what's actually going on.

The annual Game Chef competition just entered its final phase and there's been some discussion about how it went this year relative to times in the past, with a lot of miscommunication and hurt feelings on the part of both long-time participants and those who starting participating more recently. Everyone feels a large degree of ownership of and investment into this collective tradition, though each person understands it differently based on their own experiences. This makes talking about it difficult.

I've been helping to organize a StoryGames Boston, a weekly group that supports small-press games, but lately I've been less satisfied with what we've been doing. It's not that we haven't been playing fun stuff, but I feel like, in the past few weeks, I'm not growing or learning as a part of play and that's critical for me. Every week I'd like to either:

1. Play a game I haven't played before.
2. Play with several new people I haven't played with before.
3. Play something that I can get invested in for more than a single session, where it's possible that play will go somewhere really interesting.

I don't mind that one of these doesn't happen every week. I don't expect it to. But none of these has happened in the past several weeks and that's what's beginning to get me down. Play has been fun, but unfulfilling. Like a light beer.

I'm going to try to get more sleep, participate less in online conversations (which generally makes me happier), and focus on doing things that I enjoy, whether other people care or not. Hopefully, that'll make me less frustrated by the time the weekend rolls around...

3 Comments:

Blogger Shreyas said...

You know it but it never hurts to say - I appreciate you.

4:24 PM  
Blogger Mark Robertson said...

As a first-time Game Chef participant who got well-thought-out feedback from you, I have to echo what Shreyas said. You do good stuff, and I appreciate it.

Ignore this if it counts as part of an online conversation, though...

10:47 PM  
Anonymous John (jenskot) said...

I just wanted to drop by and say that I really enjoy most of your posts on Story Games and Knife Fight as well as your blog. You are definitely one of the people that stand out. Even though we don't know each other or interact much, I do appreciate your contributions online. Rock, John!

5:50 PM  

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